Comments on: Dragon Wars: Land of Myth Chapter One I

By: admin

admin — Sat, 28 Apr 2012 22:20:39 +0000

Thank you for the comment! Glad you enjoyed it so far.

By: Edd's Stories

Edd's Stories — Sat, 28 Apr 2012 09:44:42 +0000

Great, creative and immersible read. It reminded me of Heroes of Might and Magic 3. Don’t know why. Keep writing.

By: admin

admin — Sun, 18 Mar 2012 08:57:08 +0000

Thanks!

Glad you’re enjoying it so far!

By: Zaffie

Zaffie — Sun, 18 Mar 2012 05:23:01 +0000

Wow, this is excellent! I’m loving your writing style. There are a couple of little grammatical errors in there, but they’re really minor things, and the dialogue flows fantastically.

By: Webfiction Wednesday #40 | Ergofiction

Webfiction Wednesday #40 | Ergofiction — Wed, 15 Dec 2010 13:11:52 +0000

[...] Dragon Wars [...]

By: admin

admin — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 11:00:42 +0000

The fourth is Daniel, who isn’t in the room at the start, but is mentioned. You’ll meet him later.

By: Amber

Amber — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 04:52:17 +0000

I thought that your first chapter was well written for sure and I like the start, jumping right right in can often confuse people. What I am curious about is the allusion that these four (and by the way I only caught three names: Lydia, Karen, and Andrew, but that just could have been me) having been in strange situations. About them ‘attracting this sort of thing’. Is this ‘sort of thing’ normal for them??

By: Becka

Becka — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 22:54:58 +0000

Thank you the comment. I think maybe I need to create some side stories set before the story opens.

By: Matt

Matt — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 22:52:38 +0000

I think the packing start was fine. It provides some oppurtunity to highlight the differences in each quadruplets personality. I agree, however, that some explaining of Andrew’s comment would be beneficial.

By: A. M. Harte

A. M. Harte — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 17:21:16 +0000

The beginning is intriguing, although I really think the initial scene of them picking clothes and packing is unnecessary and kind of makes the start drag. If you jumped right to the opening-the-door-and-finding-weirdness that might have worked as a stronger hook.

I also think the scene could benefit from a bit of dragging out of the tension, and a bit more reaction from the three — they seem pretty calm about it all which is odd! Plus a longer scene means you could have explained Andrew’s “that’s weird, even for us” comment which would help the reader understand why the three are used to such an odd event.