Comments on: Dragon Wars: Land of Myth Chapter Two Part Two

By: Inventrix

Inventrix — Fri, 10 Sep 2010 19:46:01 +0000

I agree that using the term ‘shit’ was a huge jolt for me, especially seeing as how the style of the writing is not really casual.

BUT.

It definitely made the impact of the scene a lot stronger. Words are a writer’s tools – if the writer wants to impart a sense of disgust and revulsion to a scene, then using words that do so is not only okay, it’s superior.

I think the hangup you’re on is you’re thinking of ‘shit’ as a curse word, while in this situation it is not a curse word but actually a reference to the object itself, shit. It isn’t being used lightly, but is actually being used specifically because it is foul and the situation is foul.

By: Gabriel Gadfly

Gabriel Gadfly — Fri, 10 Sep 2010 19:38:56 +0000

I, on the other hand, don’t have a problem with the word ‘shit.’ It fits well with the context, and I don’t think it’s used in a rude way — its used in a descriptive way, and “shit” is a more powerful way to describe a gruesome scene than ‘feces.’

You can sterilize language, but it just ends up sounding insincere.

By: admin

admin — Fri, 10 Sep 2010 18:14:18 +0000

Glad you’re enjoying it.

The thing with using “feces” is it’s a rather pretentious word and just not visceral enough for the scene. In the context shit is a perfectly good word, not a swear word. If anything I’m now wondering if urine was the wrong word choice.

Don’t worry though, no excessive swearing by characters.

By: Krynne

Krynne — Fri, 10 Sep 2010 17:12:14 +0000

Not sure if you still view your replies to these things or not. I just came across your story today and so far so good. My only comment here would be instead of using the vulgar term “shit” perhaps you could have used “feces” instead. It means the same thing without sounding rude and by avoiding particular terms (as you seem to be doing so far) you don’t wind up using those types of words too often. I only mention because so far you’ve tended to avoided saying anything worse than “damn” which I feel is a good thing… not too many people enjoy seeing a continuous run of slang even if it is “in character”. The occasional F-bomb or S-bomb is ok but once you get using them you’ll find it’s harder to avoid using them the next time.

By: Becka

Becka — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 00:41:59 +0000

Oh, the Rider is certainly ruthless.

By: mjkj

mjkj — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 00:28:40 +0000

Ah, good planning ahead…

…and I hope they can rescue her heart friend soon…

…nasty fellow that human…

mjkj

By: uberVU - social comments

uberVU - social comments — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 21:02:48 +0000

Social comments and analytics for this post…

This post was mentioned on Twitter by shutsumon: #dragonwars Dragon Wars Chapter 2 Part 2 posted! http://bit.ly/93ohc2 #webfiction #weblit #yafantasy #fantasy #onlinefiction…