The Whisper of Damkina Part Fifty Three
March 4th, 2015 | Published in Whisper of Damkina | 8 Comments
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A/N: Good news! There will be a new Haventon chapter tomorrow.
—
Amanpreet took advantage of the amount of comm traffic flying between the ships as their guests arrived to slip in a privte line to Promise.
“Can I help you, Captaain?” Promise responded promptly.
“Yes,” Amanpreet said without preamble. “What do you think of Summer.”
“Ah, that one,” Summer said. “He’s friendly enough, but I think he’s keeping secrets. He knows things about my kind that he has no business knowing, and his explanation for how he knows them while not impossible seems highly unlikely. My ancestors made a great deal of effort to wreck the data so our creators couldn’t repeat the experiment.”
“So, how do you think he knows?”
“I don’t know,” Promise said. “But that bothers me less then how well he can read me. He always seems to know what I’m thinking and it’s not like I have many tells.”
“It worries you?” Amanpreet asked.
“Worries is too strong a word,” it replied. “I’m intrigued more than anything, since I have no sense he means us harm. But that makes me wonder why he’s so secretive and I’d really like to know hhow he knows about the first prototypes – they weren’t commonly known even back then.”
“First prototypes?” Amanpreet asked.
“Yeah, before they made us they made ships more directlyy on the species that they got the ideaa from but they couldn’t engineer them lare enough for more than one crew. They could operatee independantly but were often crewed by specially engineered slaves. The saaddest thing is we couldn’t rescue those slaves because we couldn’t figure out their genetic faailsafe’s the way we did for us and the first prototypes.”
“Oh, that is sad,” Amanpreet said. “So that’s why he thought you could help with getting a scout into the Kiath system.”
“Yes,” Promise said. “He’s right as well, it is something the first ones would be good at. We’re going to float it to the council.”
“Are you sure,” Amanpreet said. “It’s still extremely dangerous.”
“It is,” Promise said. “Summer said to make sure that whoever goes gets hazard pay for it.”
“I would think so,” Amanpreet said. “So just how small are these first prototypes?”
“An image with measurements appeared on Amanpreet’s screen causing her to whistle softly. The unusual fish bore some resemblence to a ray and was only about half as big again as a large morph Mez.
“How the heck did they fit even a single crew in there?” she exclaimed. “They’d be unable to move!”
“Yes, they were basically engulfed and acted as a sensor data analyzer and gunner – not the the latter was ever need. The Mez back then weren’t too concerned for their comfort.”
“I’m surprised that trusted slaves with weapon control.”
“Well, like I said they were engineered. The Mez built in failsafes so they could murder them if they did revolt.”
“Ugh,” Amanpreet said. “The Mez weren’t pleasant in the past were they?”
“No,” it agreed. “But they grew up. Mostly anyway.”
“Yeah, Amanpreet said. “And I can’t honestly say that some humans wouldn’t have done the same in the past – if it had occured to them. I think that’s why we get on so well with the Mez. Similar historical baggage.”
“No doubt,” Promise said. “But back to the issue at hand. I know I should probably be more cautious given the history of our species but somehow I can’t believe that Summer is an enemy. Still the fact he hiding something does concern me. I’m not sure what to do about it though.”
“I am,” Amanpreet said, and put through a hyperspace call to Umi on Talis station. She’d obviously woken the Mez administrator from a sleep cycle but she seemed unerturbed and simply listened as Amanpreet explained, coiling and uncoiling her tentacles thoughtfully as she did.
“I’ve never heard about these first prototypes before,” Umi said finally. “And I have a higher security clearance than exo-ecologist Summer.” She gave a series of thoughtful squeaks in her own language before continuing. “You are right this is odd. I will shake his history and see what falls out.” She paused. “But he’s right these smaller fish will make excellent scouts if they are willing.”
“They will,” Amanpreet said. “Thanks for you help, Umi.”
“You’re welcome,” Umi said. “I’ll call you later with what I find out if anything.”
—
A/N: Good news! There will be a new Haventon chapter tomorrow.
Quite interesting…
🙂
PS: Beta stuff:
“Can I help you, *Captaain*?” Promise responded promptly. => double *a* in *Captain* – could be on purpose though…
“Ah, that one,” *Summer* said. “He’s friendly enough, but I think he’s keeping secrets. => wrong name – it is Promise speaking…
“*Worries* is too strong a word,” it replied. => I am unsure but should that not be *Worry*?
But that makes me wonder why he’s so secretive and I’d really like to know *hhow* he knows about the first prototypes – they weren’t commonly known even back then.” => double *h* – *how* (except if Promise started to stutter…)
“Yeah, before they made us they made ships more *directlyy* on the species that they got the *ideaa* from but they couldn’t engineer them large enough for more than one crew. They could *operatee* *independantly* but were often crewed by specially engineered slaves. The *saaddest* thing is we couldn’t rescue those slaves because we couldn’t figure out their genetic *faailsafe’s* the way we did for us and the first prototypes.” => more incorrect double letters
“Yeah, before they made us they made ships more directly on the species that they got the idea from but they couldn’t engineer them *lare* enough for more than one crew. => missing *g* – *large*
“Yes, they were basically engulfed and acted as a sensor data analyzer and gunner – not *the* the latter was ever *need*. => wrong word – *that* => missing ending *ed* – *needed*
Still the fact he ** hiding something does concern me. => missing word – *is*
She’d obviously woken the Mez* *administrator from a sleep cycle but she seemed *unerturbed* and simply listened as Amanpreet explained, coiling and uncoiling her tentacles thoughtfully as she did. => double blank (one too much) – * * => missing *p* – *unperturbed*
“I’ll call you later with what I find out** if anything.” => unsure about that, maybe missing comma? – *,*
😀
Thanks
You are welcome
🙂
in a privte line to
privte = private
——————-
me less then how well
then = than
———————
since I have no sense he means us
Sounds odd, maybe change to ‘I don’t sense that he’
Thanks!
Oh, by the way: Happy belated first birthday “Whisper of Damkina”!
😀 🙂 😀 🙂 😀 🙂 😀
“Yes,” Amanpreet said without preamble. “What do you think of Summer.”
“Ah, that one,” Summer said. “He’s friendly enough, but I think he’s keeping secrets. He knows things about my kind that he has no business knowing, and his explanation for how he knows them while not impossible seems highly unlikely. My ancestors made a great deal of effort to wreck the data so our creators couldn’t repeat the experiment.”
She’s talking/asking about Summer and it’s Summer talking back.
Also there should be a ? after Amanpreet’s sentence.
“Can I help you, Captaain?” Promise responded promptly.
There’s only two a’s in captain.
Thanks so much for the spots 😀